It’s no secret that the job market can be tough these days, especially for recent graduates. But fear not, my dear friends, because I have the solution to all your employment woes: lying on your resume.
Think about it. Why spend thousands of dollars and four years of your life to earn a degree when you can just make up your own qualifications? Sure, your parents may have told you that honesty is the best policy, but let’s be real here. Who needs honesty when you have a high-paying job?
So, what kind of lies can you put on your resume? The possibilities are endless! Maybe you were the CEO of a successful startup company at the age of 19. Or perhaps you single-handedly built a rocket ship and sent it to Mars. The key is to be creative and confident in your abilities. Remember, the sky’s the limit when it comes to lying on your resume.
But wait, won’t potential employers find out that you’re lying? Not necessarily. In fact, most employers are too busy to fact-check every single detail on your resume. Plus, who’s to say that you didn’t just leave out a few minor details? Maybe you didn’t mention that your CEO position was for a lemonade stand you had in your backyard, or that your rocket ship was made out of cardboard boxes. Details, details.
Some of you may be thinking, “But what if I get caught?” Well, my friend, that’s a risk you’ll have to take. But think about it this way: if you do get caught, at least you’ll have a good story to tell. Plus, you can always blame it on a typo or a miscommunication.
Now, I know what some of you may be thinking. “But isn’t lying wrong?” Sure, if you want to get technical about it. But let’s face it, the world isn’t fair. Sometimes, you have to do what it takes to get ahead. And if that means stretching the truth a little bit, then so be it.
In fact, lying on your resume can actually be a good thing. It shows that you’re confident, creative, and willing to take risks. And isn’t that what employers are looking for? They want someone who can think outside the box and bring new ideas to the table. By lying on your resume, you’re showing them that you’re exactly that kind of person.
So, in conclusion, why get a degree when you can just lie on your resume? It saves time, money, and effort, and it can even give you a leg up in the job market. Of course, there are some risks involved, but hey, life is all about taking risks. And if it doesn’t work out, you can always go back to college and get that degree. But for now, why not give lying on your resume a try? Who knows, you might just land your dream job.
The Tatty Journal 